The
high divorce rate in the US is causing several demographic imbalances. The problem
is even more serious among African-Americans where unemployment, teenage
pregnancy, single parenthood, children being born out of wedlock, etc. have
created some really sad scenarios for people seeking a decent person to
date/marry. No wonder, our choices are somewhat limited these days and when we
do like someone, there always seems to be something not perfect, which in this
case, is the huge age difference.
While this trend is becoming increasingly widespread, in this specific
situation, it is clear that it was simply two wonderful people falling in love.
We all know that human beings mature at very different speeds and that is why
Nancy finds that she has no problem in connecting emotionally with someone who
is 15 years younger than her because he is as mature as her.
In my opinion, as long as Nancy and her boyfriend feel that they are made
for each other, there is no reason to hide from society. This relationship
should not end simply because our society is not yet ready for a mature woman
dating/marrying a younger man. Men have done this for a long time and it is only
a matter of time before women will do the same. I encourage Nancy to speak to
her boyfriend and let him introduce her to his parents. Yes, some people will be
surprised and even shocked but what is really important is that two people love
each other. I would add a word of caution here, though. As Dr. Neil Clark Warren
pointed out, a marriage in which either one or both partners is younger than 25,
the chances of a divorce are high. Accordingly, Nancy should wait till her
boyfriend is at least 25 to give him enough time to decide even though
considering that she is already 35 she might want to marry him as soon as she
can.
A word of advice to all the men out there who are attracted to mature
women. What I believe and have seen through my research is that great
relationships are not based on being of same age. There are other far more
important things that result in a good relationship: compatibility, background,
upbringing, ambitions, interests, shared vision, and likes/dislikes. Age is only
a secondary issue. It is important in the sense that a certain age means a
certain level of experience of life. But that is not always true. For example, a
19-year old who spends a year on the battlefield has learned a great deal more
about life than a man who who sits behind a computer day in and day out doing
the same monotonous task for 20 years. More age, more experience, but you will
notice the huge gap in perspective. Therefore, my recommendation to these men is
that they look at the big picture and decide accordingly. You do not want to
abandon a wonderful woman simply because she is more mature than you - it is not
easy to find a good person these days. Yes, your parents might object, guys in
the locker room might tease you, but what counts is if you are happy. Then it is
definitely worth it.
